everything i say is unselfconscious

A recasting of Scrooge (A Christmas Carol) 1951: Alastair Sim and Donald Rumsfeld

"[T]here are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don't know we don't know.” — Donald Rumsfeld, former United States Secretary
of Defense
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"[...] Wheeler had walked into two Pittsburgh banks and attempted to rob them in broad daylight. What made the case peculiar is that he made no visible attempt at disguise. The surveillance tapes were key to his arrest. There he is with a gun, standing in front of a teller demanding money. Yet, when arrested, Wheeler was completely disbelieving. 'But I wore the juice,' he said. Apparently, he was under the deeply misguided impression that rubbing one’s face with lemon juice rendered it invisible to video cameras. [...] If Wheeler was too stupid to be a bank robber, perhaps he was also too stupid to know that he was too stupid to be a bank robber — that is, his stupidity protected him from an awareness of his own stupidity." — Errol Morris, The New York Times
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MRS. DILBER

 Are you all right, Mr. Scrooge?

EBENEZER

(ecstatic)

I... I don't know. I don't know anything. I never did know anything.

EBENEZER

(starts laughing)

EBENEZER

But now I KNOW that I don't know anything!

(begins to sing and clap his hands)

EBENEZER

I don't know anything!/ I never did know anything!/ But now I know that I don't know/ All on a Christmas morning!

EBENEZER

(speaking again)

Shall I stand on my head? I must stand on my head.

(He does so, and MRS. DILBER runs out screaming)

— from Scrooge, [a.k.a. A Christmas Carol] (1951)

Screenplay by Noel Langley